The internal, mental timeline
That my anxiety has set for me
Never fails to make me feel behind.
Behind in education
Watching my peers get accepted
Into grad programs
Into research positions
Into dream jobs
Reaching their future goals they always talked about
I am genuinely happy for them,
But that little voice in my head breeds jealousy.
My time will come.
Behind in relationships
While I watch classmates get engaged
Watch old friends move in with their person
I am on the sidelines cheering them on
But subconsciously knowing
That I am so many pages behind them.
My time will come.
My time will come.
But when?
How much longer will this girl with anxiety
Have to wait for things to fall into place?