Tell All Tuesday #13

I have forgiven some unforgivable sh*t.

There have only been three times in my life where I dealt with friendships falling out. In middle school, and twice in college. And each of those times, it was because the people I thought were my friends believed the LIES of someone they not only 1) knew was no good, and 2) should have known were not true.

I know healing is not at all linear, because I still can become just as angry as I was back when it happened when I think about the things people have falsely accused me of and cut me off for. I’ve had people come back to me and tell me the horrible things that people who I called my friends have said about me, and forgiven.

I’ve felt like the odd one out of a friend group plenty of times or not been treated so well by the others in the group, and forgiven. And yet the same grace that I extend to others, is never extended to me.

And I hate that the heartbreak I’ve experienced from these friendship fallouts, I feel, has permanently scarred my heart in a way that I won’t ever be able to recover from. Now I question everyone I meet and know. I feel like I have to be on guard at all times and watch what I say and who I say it to. I feel on the edge of depressive episodes when I see girls out with their friend groups going on trips or on group facetime calls, because I feel like I was robbed of that.

People who were my closest friends believed lies about me from people who they knew were malicious in character, or who they already knew were known for starting drama, or who they knew were bitter towards me for whatever reason.

And I’m not a perfect individual at all. But it hurts when I’ve poured so much into my friendships, usually more than what is poured into me, and yet I’m treated as easily disposable. I extend so much grace, show so much patience, to be easily thrown away. OR the things that I’ve been accused of or done, are the exact same things that other people have done to each other… except I guess it’s easier for me to be the bad guy.

Now I’m back to praying for the type of friend group that I once had, the friend group that I frequently see others enjoying. But I’m also praying that it’s not too late.

Friendships have never been easy for me because of the bullying I suffered growing up and all the times I’ve moved. And they always say the older you get, the harder it is to make friends. And I’m scared it’s true, because usually in your 20s people aren’t looking to make new friends. They’re usually celebrating the 5-10 year anniversaries of the friends they’ve had for a long time.

I have forgiven some unforgivable sh*t, and now I’m scared I’m suffering the irreversible price of it.

Sincerely,

“Hopeful, but also Hopeless”


Welcome back to “Tell All Tuesday”! Thank you to those who have submitted rants and potential future posts. KEEP THEM COMING!! Email me at realunfilteredblog@gmail.com

I am so excited with the direction this series is going in! Stay tuned on Friday for our regularly scheduled poetry post, and then again next Tuesday for another “Tell All”. I have created a drop down menu on the home page for easy navigation to posts!

Drop a comment below if you can relate to the reader’s frustration and let’s spread some positivity if possible 🙂

Have a fantastic week, Real Unfiltered Fam!

Miss You

Is it possible to miss you

Even when I don’t really know you

Even when you live so far away

Even when the memories I have of you aren’t positive ones?

Is it possible to grieve you

Even if you are still here

Even if it’s sympathy grief

Even if I don’t really know what grief is?

Is it possible to stay awake at night, thinking of you

Even when I know you do not think of me

Even when I know you do not miss me

Even when you barely remember me at all?

Tell All Tuesday #12

What bothers me about being a young adult in my 20’s is the “hustle mentality” that is expected of me. “Hustle mentality” to me means working like a dog, always thinking 5 steps ahead, always making moves financially, having a bunch of side incomes, etc. Falling in line with this is also the “productivity” mindset. The idea that you always have to be doing something, and that sitting on my couch for a day is somehow “wrong” or “lazy”. Don’t get me wrong, I like my job and I like where I am in my life, but there is more to life than “hustling” all the time. I worked very hard to get to where I am at. However, working 60 hour weeks is great if that’s what you WANT to do, but for most people that would be less than ideal. It also throws me off that somehow you are meant to shift from this “hustle mentality” to suddenly want and have balance in your 30’s and 40’s. It seems unrealistic to me to simply flip a switch and go from one extreme to another. I almost feel out of place with my peers who want to kill themselves making all this money when I am just doing my best to have a work-life balance. It almost makes me feel lazy or unproductive when I am not trying to find another income source, or a new work venture to start. But at the end of the day, when we are old and wrinkly, I don’t want to look back at my life and only remember “hustling” and working, I want to remember good times with friends and family, adventures I have been on, and all of the moments that brought me joy.

Sincerely,

“Hustle Mentality Sucks”


Welcome back to “Tell All Tuesday”! Thank you to those who have submitted rants and potential future posts. KEEP THEM COMING!! Email me at realunfilteredblog@gmail.com

I am so excited with the direction this series is going in! Stay tuned on Friday for our regularly scheduled poetry post, and then again next Tuesday for another “Tell All”. I  have created a drop down menu on the home page for easy navigation to posts! I know I have sort of dropped the ball on my posting schedule for Friday’s but I hope to jump back on this week.

Drop a comment below if you can relate to the reader’s frustration and let’s spread some positivity if possible 🙂

Have a fantastic week, Real Unfiltered Fam

Tell All Tuesday #11

So I will keep it short and sweet this week for your readers– why do people choose to take advantage of those who love and cherish them the most? Whether it is family, or a significant other, or a best friend, I have seen it time and time again where people go separate ways due to one person treating the other like they are disposable. I am so tired of people treating me poorly and expecting me to stay friends with them and stay by their side. Every time I stand up to them, it is automatically blamed on me being “needy” or “high maintenance” when I am really just asking for you not to treat me like a doormat. Some basic human decency, that you can apparently show any person who isn’t me, would be greatly appreciated.

That’s it for the rant– learn to value yourself and your time people. Protect your peace.

Sincerely,

“Short and Sweet”


Welcome back to “Tell All Tuesday”! Thank you to those who have submitted rants and potential future posts. KEEP THEM COMING!! Email me at realunfilteredblog@gmail.com

I  am so excited with the direction this series is going in! Stay tuned on Friday for our regularly scheduled poetry post, and then again next Tuesday for another “Tell All”. I  have created a drop down menu on the home page for easy navigation to posts!

Drop a comment below if you can relate to the reader’s frustration and let’s spread some positivity if possible 🙂

Have a fantastic week, Real Unfiltered Fam

Limitations

“The limit does not exist”

Has a whole new meaning 

When you enter the adult world.

Learning how to 

Say no 

Set boundaries 

Acknowledge your limits 

Is never taught 

It is learnt through negative experiences.

As someone who’s self-worth 

Is defined by productivity 

Setting limits 

Feels like climbing Mount Everest

It is one of the hardest things I had to do.

At the end of our lives

I don’t want to look back 

And simply think about work.

You are worth more than just a job title. 

Tell All Tuesday #10

Can we normalize a-type, social butterfly type people not wanting to be social all of the time? I am generally a social person– I like to hang out with people, study with people, do cool things with people, but recently I have felt myself being drained by social interactions. I know it is finals season and it is probably just stress eating at me, but I shouldn’t be made to feel bad simply because I want some alone time. People also shouldn’t automatically jump to the conclusion that I am mad or upset with them when I just want some space to decompress from the world. It’s not you, it’s me you guys.

Sincerely,

“The Antisocial Social Friend”


Welcome back to “Tell All Tuesday”! Thank you to those who have submitted rants and potential future posts. KEEP THEM COMING!! Email me at realunfilteredblog@gmail.com

Sorry for the delay in posting. Last Thursday was my birthday, and I decided to not post on Friday to give myself the day off. We will continue with regularly scheduled posts from now on!

I am so excited with the direction this series is going in! Stay tuned on Friday for our regularly scheduled poetry post, and then again next Tuesday for another “Tell All”. I  have created a drop down menu on the home page for easy navigation to posts!

Drop a comment below if you can relate to the reader’s frustration and let’s spread some positivity if possible 🙂

Have a fantastic week, Real Unfiltered Fam

Tell All Tuesday #9

Trying to navigate a workplace as a new grad is incredibly hard. I feel like there are so many essential things that nobody ever taught you in school. As someone who entered the workforce right after graduation, I felt like I was thrown to the wolves. So I have compiled a list to potentially help others avoid the same mistakes.

  1. You do not have to accept the very first job offer you get out of college. You may be scared to not accept the position, but if the work environment, leadership, pay, team isn’t what you want, then steer away. You can find a better fit.
  2. You need to be able to negotiate you pay. This is something I NEVER learned in college. After learning I was being severely underpaid compared to other new hires, I had to retroactively learn to negotiate for myself.
  3. Work-life balance is key. Companies give you time off, vacation days, and PTO for a reason–do not be afraid to take them. You need a break to do something other than work. Even if that “something” is just having a staycation at home.
  4. Navigating relationships with coworkers requires treading lightly. Since the goal is to have a work-life balance, having some separation from your work and home life is essential. So make friends with coworkers if you want to, but don’t forget to keep work AT WORK. You already work 8-10 hours of the day, your job doesn’t also need to follow you home.

While these are just some general tips I have accumulated after working post-college graduation, they may not fit every situation. Learning “how to be a professional” should be an essential part of every college curriculum so that new grads aren’t entering the workforce completely clueless. Maybe integrating a class into the graduation requirements would help achieve this.

Sincerely,

“A Lost Post-Grad”


Welcome back to “Tell All Tuesday”! Thank you to those who have submitted rants and potential future posts. KEEP THEM COMING!! Email me at realunfilteredblog@gmail.com

I  am so excited with the direction this series is going in! Stay tuned on Friday for our regularly scheduled poetry post, and then again next Tuesday for another “Tell All”. I  have created a drop down menu on the home page for easy navigation to posts!

Drop a comment below if you can relate to the reader’s frustration and let’s spread some positivity if possible 🙂

Have a fantastic week, Real Unfiltered Fam

Visualize

People always say 

To visualize the outcome you want 

And manifest it to happen.

I was never a believer

Thought it wasn’t real 

How could painting 

A pretty picture in my head 

Amount to anything but disappointment.

The older I get

The more wrong I become.

I  have visualized

Relationshios 

Work opportunities 

Investments 

That have all panned out in the end.

So call it manifestation 

Or the power of positive thinking 

Whatever it is 

Has made a believer out of me. 

Tell All Tuesday #8

I think it is truly insane how much time people spend nowadays on social media. It terrifies me. Screen time is off the charts, even more so with the pandemic and stay at home orders. Social media alters your perception of reality. It is all FAKE.

The images are filtered and edited. That fitness influencer that you think looks incredible probably spent over 30 mins posing, re-posing, and flexing so hard just to find the perfect picture. It is terrible for mental health. People portray such a distorted “highlight reel” of their lives that it is impossible to ever feel like you are enough.

“Comparison is the thief of joy” has been ingrained into me recently as more and more influencers start posting “real” content proving to their millions of followers that they are just like normal people. But they still get PAID to do this. Influencers get paid to distort images of reality for mass consumption.

It makes me sad to think of the number of young school-aged kids who are growing up thinking they aren’t good enough since they use social media as their gauge. I was lucky enough not to have social media until high school, and even though it may have been lame at the time, I think it did wonders for my mental health as a child. I can’t imagine growing up and going through puberty and not seeing a single person who looked like me on social media.

I recently did a social media cleanse and stayed off Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and Facebook for 90 days and while it was hard at first, I didn’t even think twice about it at the end. It did wonders for my self-esteem and mental health. I challenge each and every one of you guys who read this to do the same. See how long you can go without social media and see how truly FREE it makes you feel.

Sincerely,

“Social Media Hater”


Welcome back to “Tell All Tuesday”! Thank you to those who have submitted rants and potential future posts. KEEP THEM COMING!! Email me at realunfilteredblog@gmail.com

I  am so excited with the direction this series is going in! Stay tuned on Friday for our regularly scheduled poetry post, and then again next Tuesday for another “Tell All”. I  have created a drop down menu on the home page for easy navigation to posts!

Drop a comment below if you can relate to the reader’s frustration and let’s spread some positivity if possible 🙂

Have a fantastic week, Real Unfiltered Fam