unedited stream of consciousness
Internal motivation is
The drive
The passion
The desire
The want
To do better and be better
Each and every day.
Whether it is physically better
Mentally better
Emotionally better
It only works if it comes from within.
That fire that lights you up
Won’t keep you warm
If it comes from someone else.
Be your own biggest cheerleader.
I feel seen.
The way you know exactly what to say
Precisely when you need to.
All of the right words
Comforting me like a warm hug.
I feel heard.
The way you listen with intent
To every word I say
As if it is the best story you have ever heard
Making me feel understood.
I feel supported.
The way you take interest
In all of those little things I tell you about
That are important to me
That are now also important to you.
I feel safe.
The way you reassure me that I am not a burden
Even on the worst mental health days
When I want to self destruct
You take away the that doubt.
You make me feel
Seen
Heard
Supported
Safe.
How do I make you feel?
Today’s post is another collection of haikus that I have written recently. You guys seemed to respond positively to the last batch of these that were posted, so I figured I would try my luck again! Let me know if there are any other styles of poetry you would like me to attempt 🙂
Rain
The raindrops shatter
On the cold glass window pane
Sliding down quick.
Bleeding
Endless stream of blood
Pooling in the sink slowly
Old scars resurface.
Social Anxiety
Talking to people
Makes my heart race quickly
What if they hate me
If the human body is a circuit
Of complicated arteries and veins
All webbed together
Controlled by the heart
And monitored by the brain
How does a broken heart
Truly affect someone?
Does a broken heart shutdown the system completely
Like a circuit losing its powersource?
Or does it simply cause a momentary glitch
That builds up over time
Until the circuit runs cold.
How does a broken heart truly affect someone?
There is something so soothing
About watching the rain drops fall
Streaking the windows
Like tears falling down a face.
There is something so soothing
About hearing the rain drops fall
Against the roof above me
Slowly rocking me to sleep.
There is something so soothing
About the smell of the rain
After the sky opens up and pours its heart out
As if the earth somehow smells new again.
If the rain is so soothing
Why does it makes me want to stay in bed
And avoid it forever?
2020 was easily the craziest year in the books. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to do a cheesy “end of year recap” post but decided that it was necessary to recognize and appreciate all of the good and the bad things that happened this year. This year brought a lot of change— internally and externally.
I want to start by acknowledging some of the lows that 2020 has brought:
Despite the lows, my year was filled with so many highs:
In 2021, I want to be less restricted. I don’t want to necessarily set goals that are strict or rigid, but instead change the way I approach change. Changing my mind to think of change as something that I GET TO DO rather than something that I HAVE TO DO. Having the ability to improve my body, my mind, and my spirit is something I want to be grateful of. I want to spend 2021 doing more things that bring me joy.
So going into 2021, I want to:
What are some of your 2021 goals? Let me know in the comments below! I also want to say thank you for the support and followers of this blog. I couldn’t be happier with the direction this is going in ❤
Winter brings the biting cold
The cold that sinks into your body
And aches in your bones.
But it is no match
For the hot coco by the fireplace
The warm crackling sound of the wood
The aroma of pine
The cookies baking in the oven
The laughs and smiles of family and friends
The personalized gifts
And the endless love
That the winter also brings.
Wishing you and your loved ones a happy holiday season full of joy! Let us all be grateful for the good today despite the darkness that 2020 brought to the world. I will see you guys in the new year 🙂
What if mirrors showed us what we wanted to see
Rather than what was actually there?
What would you see?
A skinner, more fit reflection
Or a more successful version of yourself?
I would see myself exactly as is.
As the work of art I was created as
With my imperfections
And flaws
That do nothing to dim my worth
But rather illuminate it
To the highest degree.
I take one step forward
By getting off my antidepressant
And 4 steps back
By crying in my car after work.
I take one step forward
By forgiving you and the words you said
And 3 steps back
By not being able to forget
I take one step forward
By prioritizing myself
And 2 steps back
By feeling selfish when I do
How can I progress mentally
If it is always
One step forward, and one step back.
Her smile lights up the room,
With so much depth and color
That it is blinding.
How can anyone be that carefree?
That radiant?
That unbothered by everyone around her?
She is so in touch with herself,
That nothing else matters.
The mean comments,
The off handed stares
The judgement from strangers,
All fades away into a sea of black around her
and the waves become white noise.
She is a lighthouse on the dark horizon,
Attracting people towards her light,
Like moths to a flame.
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