unedited stream of consciousness
My depression is a creature of opportunity
Stalking my every move
Intercepting my every thought
Waiting for a moment of weakness
A moment of isolation
To slither back into my psyche.
Sapping up all of my creativity,
My motivation
My joy
Slowly draining the life out of me
Until I am left as a shell of the human I once was.
The creature then slithers back out
Leaving me empty and alone
Waiting for its window of opportunity again.
My fondest memory
From my early days
Is building playing card towers with my grandma.
Her fragile hands,
Shaking,
As she placed the cards
Gingerly
On the table.
Three, four, five stories high
The tower shaking
As each new card is added.
We laugh as it all falls down
And we try to do it again.
Inhale.
The emotions
Come crashing over like waves
The doubts
The lack of control
The insecurities
Making me slowly lose my breath
The air leaves my lungs
Exhale.
I pull myself back together
Slowly, purposefully
Counting to 10
Relaxing my racing mind
Collecting my pieces
Putting them back together
Before doing it all again
Inhale.
Reflections
I see someone who has walked through fire,
On glass,
Through the storm
Who came out stronger
Braver
Tougher
Who didn’t let the world take her caring nature
Her love
Her emotions.
Reflections
Do you see what I see
When you look at me?
Those laser pointer eyes
Dissecting my every move
Every breath
Every word
Every fiber of my being slowly ripped apart
Starting with my character.
Do you see what I see when you look at me?
I thought I would miss her,
After she walked away
Saying those words
That cut so deep
Like a knife
Against my beautiful caramel skin.
What I didn’t anticipate
Was the feeling of freeness
Of individuality
Of air in my lungs.
Her being gone was supposed to hurt
But instead
It gave me so much joy
That I am embraced the smile lines
That have sprouted like a seed
When you finally give it what it needs.
My intention for this blog is to be a form of open communication and self-expression. Writing has truly always been a creative outlet for me during the worst of times, and it is time that I finally lived up to my thoughts and started this blog.
So hello new faces. I like to write poetry. The topics range from love to lessons, and happiness to pain. My time on this earth has been filled with many lessons that I would love to share with eager readers. The title of this blog is “real unfiltered” because there is not going to be a topic that is out of the bounds of my comfort. So please, if you want to read something in particular, comment on the post and I will do my best to accommodate!
I will keep this short and sweet in anticipation of my next, real post, which will be coming shortly. Thank you guys for your support 🙂
